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Grief after pet loss can feel weighty and huge, sitting heavy on your chest or looming large in
your life.
Not only that, but it feels like it’s never going away. Like you’ll always have this boulder that
blocks your view… or, as I like to put it, like a fat cow in the middle of the road that won’t let
you pass.
When I was mired in pet grief, I’d wonder, “What do I do with all this grief?” Basically, how do I
get rid of the blasted cow?
And while it’s true that time heals helps everything, I’m not a big fan of waiting around in pain.
It was a gift to discover that tapping creativity was a powerful way to move through, push
through, and re-channel that grief. It also became a way for me to create a beautiful memorial
as a way to hang on to those precious memories.
So here are some ways you might embrace your own creativity as a compassionate tool to help
honor your sweet pet and keep their memory vibrant in your heart.
A Bond, Repackaged
Freud-based thinking in relation to loss talks a lot about detaching from anyone you’ve lost in
life, as a way to move on.
I find this silly. Because the last thing any of us want to do when we’ve lost someone dear is
forget them and leave those memories behind.
Current research actually supports the opposite of Freud’s thinking, where you instead find
ways to maintain that bond. Creating art that then becomes a memorial to your pet is a
beautiful way to do that.
According to Dr. Shelley Carson, a lecturer at Harvard University and author of Your Creative
Brain, Seven Steps to Maximize Imagination, Productivity, and Innovation in Your Life, there are
two types of creativity: innovative creativity and expressive creativity.
Innovative creativity, says Dr. Carson, is ideal for challenges and problem-solving.
Expressive creativity, on the other hand, is about taking negative energy and channeling it into
creative work. Doing this, she says, can help with processing loss or trauma. And there are
many creative paths you can take, from writing to visual arts or music. All of these offer release
and reflection beyond just words.
But even though creativity can help to heal and redirect grief, you may not feel super motivated
to tap your creative side in the midst of your pain.
That’s where memorials come in. Creativity can serve as a compassionate, grief-mitigating tool
to both honor your pet and keep their memory vibrant.
Memorializing through Creativity
When you channel your sorrow and affection into a tangible commemoration for your lost pet,
it creates a powerful path to healing. Your art then becomes a visual statement of love.
Here are some ways you can use creativity to channel your grief into a memorial:
1: Tribute Writing:
Journaling is a well-known and powerful release of emotions. The best type of journaling,
especially nowadays, is taking a real pen to paper as opposed to typing your feelings on a
screen or tapping them out on a phone. In a study by Van der Weel and Van der Meer (2024),
writing by hand was found to increase brain connectivity.
And because research shows that sadness effectively deactivates the left prefrontal areas of
your brain (this is where positive emotions like joy and hope are processed), it wouldn’t be a
bad thing to try and restimulate them.
Think of journaling your pet grief as writing a love letter to your pet. It then becomes something
you can keep as a memorial; a testament to that beautiful bond you shared.
Just know that you don’t have to be able to put together beautiful, eulogy-worthy sentences to
count as a memorial.
Write from your heart.
Write simply.
Write the words you feel.
Write about the memories that stand out.
An authentic letter, written from the heart, will always be a hundred times more powerful than
something constructed to sound smart.
2: Creating Art
Any kind of artistic medium that appeals to you can go a long way in helping to express your
grief and becoming a tribute.
Painting, sketching, and sculpting are all potent approaches to physically articulate your
emotions and capture your memories.
Scrapbooking or photo collages are a touching way to preserve those memories you don’t want
to let go of.
The product of your art experience then becomes the keepsake. Frame it, hang it, or put it on a
shelf where you’ll see it daily and be reminded of the beautiful connection you had with your
pet.
3: Making Music
Musical expression is another cathartic way to release grief through creative means. Because
music affects our minds and bodies in a powerful way, it offers another outlet for grief.
Similarly, music can be calming in a time where feelings of frustration, anxiety, and sadness
often takeover.
It doesn’t matter whether you create or participate in the music or simply listen to what others
have created. Either way, it’s an outlet for feelings and sad memories.
Consider writing a song or creating a playlist that captures the way you felt about your pet and
the connection you had to them.
Or, pick just a single song or two that brings back the happy memories. Play it whenever you
feel yourself missing your pet, or when you want to embrace those good times.
4: Crafting Keepsakes
Any kind of keepsake that resonates with you can serve as a beautiful memorial to your pet.
While there are several pet keepsakes available through different online stores, the act of
making your own beautiful keepsake is another way to work through grief and recapture those
lovely times you had with your pet.
Photo albums, scrapbooks, memory boxes with your pet’s things, painted rocks, paw-print
creations, or even blown-glass stones are all ways to create art that then becomes a memorial.
It doesn’t have to be prescriptive, either. A keepsake is whatever you want it to be. Maybe
that’s a framed picture of your pet with your written love letter tucked into the back. Maybe it’s
a mug you paint at the local ceramic shop with drawings of favorite places you use to take your
pet.
Maybe it’s even a rock you take from your garden and paint, as testament to the many hours
you spent there with your beloved pet.
And If You Aren’t An Artist?
You don’t actually have to be an artist by trade or even personal identification for any of this to
work. We are creative beings by nature, and expressing that creativity in whatever way feels
best to you is your right and your gift.
Besides, expressing grief for pet loss through any creative outlet is something you do for
yourself, and perhaps also for close family. It’s not art to be rated or judged. It’s simply an
expression of the love you felt for your pet, and that in itself is beauty enough.
